By Shawn Henry 
A 25-year-old Florida man landed in handcuffs after allegedly swiping his grandma’s ride, wrecking it, then trying to torch the darn thing before bolting like his pants were on fire. Miami Township cops rolled up around 2:30 a.m. Wednesday after some sharp-eyed local spotted a smashed-up sedan near Route 450 and U.S. 50, then watched a tall man in a white tee and jeans sprint away from the mess like he was training for the Olympics.
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Officers found the poor car nose-dived in a ditch, banged up beyond belief with weird scorch marks along the driver’s seat and gas tank somebody clearly tried (and spectacularly failed) to light up. A quick license plate check led them straight to the owner, an elderly woman who said that her grandson Robert Basye had snatched the keys earlier that night without so much as a “pretty please.”
Cops nabbed Basye loitering near the crash scene looking like he’d just walked off the set of a bad day. He allegedly copped to stealing the wheels, plowing into something hard enough to total it, then attempting an amateur pyrotechnics display before deciding a midnight jog sounded like a better idea. Now he’s staring down charges for grand theft auto, drunken driving, and apparently failing Arson 101.
No injuries, thankfully, but that car isn’t going anywhere except the scrapyard. Cops won’t say what half-baked method he used to try barbecuing the vehicle, but one thing’s certain this Thanksgiving, somebody’s getting the world’s most awkward family reunion. Just another day in Florida, where the crime blotter somehow keeps topping itself.
John 
Eve