By John 
Talk about a bad getaway plan. Last week in LA’s Lincoln Heights, some genius thought ditching a stolen ride and hoofing it through industrial backstreets would shake the cops. Spoiler: it didn’t. Around 9:30 p.m., officers tailed the 27-year-old until he bailed, thinking fences and construction zones were his golden ticket. Wrong again.
Dude scrambled over a wall, probably envisioning some action-movie escape—only to eat dirt in the worst way. His grand finale? A 30-foot plunge into a cramped shaft barely wider than a refrigerator. Wedged like a pickle in a jar, he wasn’t going anywhere fast. Cops and firefighters rolled up to find him stuck, playing a very unwilling game of human sinkhole decor.
Rescue crews didn’t mess around. Straps got dropped, instructions barked, and next thing you know, they’re hoisting him up like a wobbly piñata. An aerial ladder did the heavy lifting, literally, while everyone else prayed the guy wouldn’t faceplant on the way out.
Once they fished him out, medics checked the damage before cuffs came out. Classic LA: even crime comes with a pit stop at the ER. Turns out gravity works faster than the LAPD—that hole ended his sprint way quicker than any cop could. The car might’ve been stolen, but that fall? One hundred percent his own doing. Tough break, pal.
Shawn Henry