And if you believe that, I have a few bridges to sell you.
Right now, corporate America really wants you to believe that a forced switch to electric vehicles won’t kill muscle cars. For whatever reason, the powers-that-be really want automotive enthusiasts to be onboard with the EV push. With that aim in mind, a number of articles have been published that are designed to get all of us excited about ditching V8s and getting an iPhone on wheels. The latest example comes via Reuters.
Check out the ’67 Chevelle with a wicked Viper punch here.
The angle Reuters takes in the article I’m talking about is that technology will actually make American muscle cars better than ever. In a display of a complete lack of understanding about what a muscle car even is, the writers of the article focus just on horsepower. What I want to ask them is if they’ve ever heard of a supercar?
It gets even better: they cite Doug DeMuro in the article. That’s right, the Jalopnik alumnus who now has a YouTube channel and is also trying to launch some car auction site is unsurprisingly totally onboard with the very thing his financial backers probably stand to profit from immensely. Shocking, isn’t it?
DeMuro is quoted as saying, “It might be the beginning of the end of the V8-powered, gas-engine muscle car.” Glad he weighed in because that’s truly insightful stuff. He goes on to state that what might differentiate the electric “muscle” cars from grocery getters could be “weird equipment or extras that other cars don’t have.”
If you’re screaming, laughing, or just thinking DeMuro is a complete idiot, congratulations, your brain is still functioning. The guy is insinuating muscle cars are just some quirky little things like 1980s Citroens or a Subaru BRAT. Ugh.
The face palm-worthy nature of the article continues as it states American muscle cars are “American two-door performance-oriented vehicles, powered by near-400 horsepower V8 motors.” Bwahahahahahaaha, that’s cute! Please let everyone know how little you understand about muscle cars, the auto industry, and life in general.
Ultimately, the point is you’re supposed to read this horribly inaccurate garbage and get all tingly feeling as you’re told to believe that in the future your Ford Mustang Mach-E Shelby Thunderbird eRacer will be so fast you suffer from ocular damage from the sheer g-forces after repeatedly pushing the electronic accelerator paddle on the yoke steering wheel. The sheer brutality of the simulated V8 harmonics coming from the 32 interior speakers combined with the Tron-inspired graphics displayed on the 22-inch center touchscreen will almost make you feel like you’re on a drag strip, which of course don’t exist anymore because vehicle speeds are severely limited to conserve energy and prevent the polar ice caps from melting. See, the future of American muscle cars looks so incredibly bright and you just don’t even know it!
Check out the Reuters article for yourself here.
Images via Ford