How could this not go wrong?
It is 2023 and just now a company called Leasing Options has created a TikTok package for cars. I can’t believe nobody has marketed such a thing before – maybe they have and I just didn’t catch it – but this is exactly what’s wrong with society today.
In a time when almost everyone is some sort of influencer, sadly nobody is truly an influencer. Yet with the promise of internet stardom, people drop serious amounts of cash on props, outfits, trips, and all sorts of other things to earn likes from their 48,000 followers on TikTok. Considering how many of them record while they’re driving, something I think is stupidly dangerous, I’m sure they’re already shoving their money at the maker of this package.
Let me start off with the most obvious flaw in this setup: the light ring attached to the steering wheel hub. All modern cars have an airbag located there, so putting anything over that can be disastrous in the crash you’ll inevitably get into because you’re paying more attention to recording than driving. Don’t worry, I’m sure the doctor will be able to get most of the light ring shrapnel picked out of your flesh.
I know light rings are adjustable, but I also know not all influencers are smart enough to realize they shouldn’t blind themselves while they’re driving. After all, looking good on camera is far more important than safety, so having this in your car while you’re flying down the road at 75 mph seems like a great idea.
There’s also a suction cup tripod for your DSLR camera, so you can set it up on the dashboard right over the passenger-side airbag. That’s perfect for either launching that expensive piece of equipment into the face of anyone unfortunate or unintelligent enough to be riding along with you, or send it careening through the windshield in a crash. Great design.
Since your car is, apparently, a rolling TikTok studio, lighting is key. This package comes with strip LED lighting, something that’s available from the factory in some new cars. But this package goes a step further and includes a starlight headliner, kind of like what people get in their Rolls-Royce only much cheaper looking. That will really bedazzle your growing followership as you record your thoughts on camera while driving to Taco Bell at 2 am.
Unfortunately, this TikTok package isn’t available right now and is being marketed to influencers in the UK. It really isn’t fair the other side of the pond will be dealing with all these important TikTokers driving even more distracted than ever, so let’s work on getting this in North America.